As I begin the second week of the Ren.Nu program, I have to admit that I feel like there is no life force in my body. While this may sound a little hyperbolic, the one thing that I find hard to explain to others are the days when I feel like there is no spark being ignited within my body. I feel like my kidneys become almost a heat sync for energy or that they are like the ignition in a car; no spark to light the fuel to create internal combustion. It kind of sucks. I should note that I sometimes felt like this before the diet began, but today is especially difficult. I imagine that it relates to my body desperately seeking glucose and turning to my protein to convert that instead of going to fat as fuel. That is what I think; but it may not be true. In my current diet, I am still eating too much protein even though my carbohydrates are around 30-40g. Regardless, this is an expected hurdle for me, and one which will take this entire week to sort out.
Perhaps the hardest part of a diet like this is the self-judgement that the Ego creates with failure to comply to with the exact macro counts. As this deprecation occurs, the Monkey Mind is constantly demanding carbohydrates, demanding “cheats”, and rationalizing all deviations from the planned course of action for the day. It is a reality that I encountered in 2019, but I am finding that the parameters of this “better” dietary change is much more challenging that the parameters I set out for myself then. In 2019, however, my goals were weight loss to get down from 170-163 lbs so that I could move from the Middleweight to Lightweight Division. I did not care about exact macros, nor did I care what effect the diet was having on my kidneys, per se. I only cared about making weight for Masters World, and I did.
This time around, I actually feel better overall than I did before. I am losing weight, I am dropping in inflammation, and I feel decent about my daily internal body cavity pressure against my kidneys. On the flipside, I feel too weak to train in the ways I had before, and I feel a lot more keto flu effects (and I am still not near ketosis). So what has changed? I expect that the Ramipirl (5mg) I decided to take in consultation with my general practitioner is reeking havoc with my previous protocols. Blood pressure has dramatically improved on the charts, but with the lower heart rate and pressure I imagine that I negatively feel the effects of the body fuel switchover much more accutely. Time will tell how things progress, and I see no reason to abandon ship.
The rest of this week has me on am end-of-year field trip with my 13 year old students. Eating properly while at a Hard Rock Cafe or a breakfast buffet will undoubtedly challenge my willpower to avoid carbohydrates and sugar, but that is fine. I already warned my colleagues that I may not be eating or drinking with them. Frankly, some rest in a hotel room or swimming in a pool might help in comparison to chasing my five year old daughter around until 10pm. I will continue to miss out on jiujitsu training, but instructional videos, yoga and the weight loss from the diet can compensate for a bit of that gameplay loss. My Ego had thought that I could still train full on, but avoiding injury from the lack of strength to resist training partners is probably a higher priority that pushing through.
After surviving three days with 120 twelve year olds on a Niagara Falls school trip, surrounded by candy, junk food and carbs, I am looking forward to home. I have been lowering my carbs and proteins while upping my fats, but still no keto. a little frustrating from the Peer to Peer pressure of hitting keto levels in the Ren.Nu group chat; since I could not make the session due to a jet boat ride, I watched back in the hotel at night. I am stuck at 0.3 or 0.4 m/mol.
Who knows if my body is resisting because it has been here before or if it has other plans for me, and frankly I have little control over that part of the game. There was a lot of talk about waves and tides in the mindfulness section, so to extend the metaphor: I am caught in the 0.4 current and I have to accept that and wait for the right time to start swimming hard. Might be a week away or tomorrow, but I cannot base my mindset on artificial targets. My journey, my Tao.
Otherwise the inflammation is still decreasing, and I feel fairly solid despite a disruptive week. A lack of decent coffee in Niagara has not helped with the sluggish fog of war that I continue to experience. A few days home, a 5k run and some yoga should help, but a small victory would help a bit. Not required, but it would help sway the tide
I guess that I should mention that I feel pretty calm for being on a school trip. More accepting, more mindful of my time and what I put into my body to get through the days of insanity. It is a nicer, more sustainable mindset. If I could just squeeze in some jiujitsu training then things would feel pretty good. I probably need to get my KetoCitra to two servings a day, but doing that at the Hard Rock Cafe felt kind of creepy from a teacher point of view, so I left that for home. Perhaps more exercise in my home gym and just general, easier fitness will kickstart things. We will have to see. Two more days before the second week closes, so all is not lost, all is still to come.
As the week came to a close, I finally hit moderate ketosis at 0.9 mmol/L. By all accounts this was a real struggle to get my body over to a fat fueling paradigm, but I definitely feel a difference in my energy and cognition. In the past two days, I feel less disgusted when eating greens with oils, have less of a craving for just meats, and my body seems to have figured out how to plate food in a way that actually meets the percentages and ratios I need for the diet. Vegetables are becoming more attractive to eat, carbohydrates less so (if only because I know how their suddent intake would make me feel again). The KetoCitra tastes pretty good in contrast to the lipids of the diet, and herbs from my garden are making the blandness of some items come alive. Basil, chives, fennel and tarragon all go pretty well with items like salads, butters and eggs. Cheese is probably the best way for me to add the fats that I was missing at the end of the day, and being in Canada there is a whole myriad of French cheeses which are high fat and low industrial processing. Pistachio nuts and walnuts are another addition to plates that give a bit of fiber and fullness to the mix.
I would not say that I necessarily feel like I can hit the jiujitsu mats at full force yet, but I do feel like a run or a workout in the gym is more than feasible, so I may do that this morning once I finish the blog and my morning decaf pourover coffee. My weight is down to 172 lbs from 186 when I began the diet and was retaining tonnes of fluid. The LMNT electrolyte packets have helped with salt intake and I am supplementing some B12 and D vitamins based on the initial blood labs. My blood pressure is also back to the ideal 112/65 when I wake up (I do take 5mg of Ramipiril to lower the load on my kidneys). So I feel like my body has self-corrected back to the path I am needing to take for the remaining 10 Weeks of the program. While the internal spark is not fully lit, it appears that the engine is starting to turn over after being flooded for the past two weeks.